The Amazon Queen
by Kenko
Summary: An old fic of mine I found floating around. Don't know if I'll ever touch it again, but it's basically... what if Ranma had a year to get used to the curse... and a possible ridiculous destiny?


I don't know WHERE this idea came from...

The Amazon Queen

A rather silly Ranma 1/2 alterniversalfictionalthingy

by Robert Haynie

(Ranma was created by Rumiko Takahashi, and is published in the  
US by Viz Communications. Humphrey Bogart is not in this fanfiction,  
at least not at the moment, but I could go totally insane at any  
minute so I'm not making any promises...)

Part One... Here's... Um... a whole lot of people?

####

Soun Tendo stared at the cheap postcard in his hand, smiling.

"Bringing Ranma and company from China. May be complications  
with our pact. Not my fault. Genma"

Being the sort of person who only really sees what he wants to  
see, he managed to not really read anything but four words-  
Bringing, Ranma, From, and China. Happily he went to call his three  
daughters together, and make his grand announcement. Strangely, (at  
least to him) they didn't really seem very pleased, but he managed to  
ignore that as well. He had a positive talent for it. The only one  
with any enthusiasm for the matter was Nabiki, who when the door-bell  
rang, went to get it, assuming that the young man was there.

She returned in a moment shaken and pale. "There's an old monkey  
on a stick arguing with a panda on our doorstep."

Normally Soun was the sort of person who only really heard what  
he wanted to hear, also. But this statement was the sort that cut  
through his comforting blanket of self-absorption, and he went to the  
front door to gaze upon this remarkable spectacle himself.

It turned out that his daughter had made a less than accurate  
report. The monkey and the panda were also arguing with a red-headed  
girl, another with violet tresses, and a boy with long ebon hair and  
thick glasses. Well, technically, the boy was arguing with the dojo  
sign, but that seemed a minor point at this juncture.

"You realize that any such match is unacceptable without approval  
of the Council of Elders as a whole! Don't you realize how important  
the girl is to our people?"

"Stop callin' me a girl! And what do you mean, match? Pops  
start smoking again?" complained the redhead.

The panda waved a sign that Soun couldn't read. The apparent  
monkey could, however, and retorted with words to the effect of a old  
drunken agreement was hardly as valid as the duties of royalty.

Meanwhile the girl with the violet hair was yelling in Chinese at  
the boy, who was pleading in the same language with the dojo sign.  
And the red haired girl just looked ready to explode at everyone.

Soun, however, managed to quite intelligently ignore all the  
chaos going on, and target the only relevant part- the boy. Logic  
and wisdom identified him in a second.

"Ranma, my boy, you've come at last!" And he hugged the  
glasses-wearing youth.

This distracted the boy enough to cause him to break off his  
entreaties to the wooden placard, and change the subject to his now  
intense desire to be allowed to breathe.

"That funny," the longhaired girl said. "Where outsider man  
learn Glomp?"

"Don't ask ME," the redhead replied. "Dunno him, never met him  
before."

"I'm not ranma lemme go can't breathe," wheezed the boy with  
glasses.

"Not..." Soun released the boy, uncertainly. "You're not  
Ranma?"

"And I wouldn't want to be, either. I don't LIKE this country!  
I just want to go back to the village and marry Shampoo!"

"No is happening!"

"But once I convince her to-"

"Like she said, it ain't happening," the redheaded girl snapped.  
"Let's just get inside where it's dry, okay?"

To Soun's surprise, the two other teens bowed to the redhead, as  
did the apparent monkey- which he now realized was not a monkey but  
an impossibly elderly woman. The panda didn't bow, until the elderly  
woman smashed it in the back of it's head with her stick.

"Um. Yes. Well. Come in?"

"Thanks." The redheaded girl sighed, and entered the house,  
followed by the rest of her coterie.

Soun stood there in the rain for a moment, before he realized  
that whatever he HAD let into the house, it certainly wasn't Saotome  
and Son.

He was understandably mistaken... but who wouldn't be?

####

"Pardon us for the scene outside, Tendo-san," the ancient woman  
said, in tones of resignation. She bore the somewhat odd name of  
Cologne... not that her companions had names any less odd. "Of late  
we have been much on edge."

"Ah... yes, that seems apparent. I was wondering if you perhaps  
knew where Ranma was? The boy did seem to know him..."

The violet-tressed girl, who was named Shampoo looked a bit  
nervous. "Um. She Ranma Saotome," she replied, pointing at the  
red-haired girl.

"Yes. Sorry about that," added Mousse, the boy with the glasses.

Soun fainted.

####

Upon his awakening, the Tendo patriarch was as confused as ever.

"I was sure that Genma said he had a son." Soun was terribly  
confused.

"He did, but he really shouldn't have. Fortunately, fate  
corrected that mistake-" Cologne was interrupted by the annoyed  
voice of the unexpectedly not-son-material Ranma.

"Fate didn't correct nothin'. I'm still a guy. Mostly."

This statement flew over the heads of the Tendos, who  
understandably saw no sense in the assertion.

"Why must you be so unreasonable, Princess?"

"I ain't no princess, and I ain't gonna be no queen, and someday  
you're gonna realize that, Cologne."

The elder chuckled. "Think what you will, Princess. But your  
destiny is with us, and someday you will understand that."

"When pigs fly. And kicking Ryoga into low earth orbit don't  
count."

"He seemed like a nice enough boy when he wasn't trying to kill  
you-"

"And stop tryin' to fix me up with guys! You got any idea how  
disgusting that is?"

Akane stared at the redhead. Then she stared at Nabiki, who was  
nursing her wrist after the Shampoo girl had taken exception to her  
poking at Ranma's chest to make sure. Then she returned her stare to  
Ranma, nodding to herself. Finally, someone who had the right idea  
about boys.

Cologne sighed. "You're just being unreasonable. Oh, well, if  
you insist, I suppose that one of these might be worthy of being your  
mate."

"And how, precisely, is THAT supposed to work?" inquired Nabiki,  
still glaring at the violet haired thug.

"Mate? What are ya talking about, Colonge?" murmured the redhead  
under her breath.

"Well, it's simple, really. When your sister returns with that  
kettle, we shall be able to explain." Here the old woman gave the  
panda a rather scornful look. "I DO hope it's nice and hot."

[Sadistic old ghoul] read the sign that the panda had produced  
from... actually, no-one seemed to really know WHERE it had come  
from.

"Half-witted dolt," retorted Cologne.

"This is all too strange... Say, do you want to see our dojo?"

"Um... sure." For some reason Ranma's expression and attitude  
changed to one of shyness.

In the dojo, Ranma looked about with interest. "Nice place.  
Don't seem to be used much, tho."

"Daddy hasn't taught for a while," explained Akane. "Say, you  
practice kempo, right?"

"A bit."

"Want to spar?"

"I guess..."

Akane took a careful attack stance. Ranma just stood there.

In another reality, one we all know, the events following have  
been well and precisely documented, to an extent that need not be  
recouped here. Until Akane decided to up the level of sparring-  
"For real", as she thought to herself, as she lashed out with a  
devastating punch-

And everything suddenly went black.

####

Akane's father wasn't happy about what had transpired in the  
Dojo. His response was fury, outrage- and sudden fear as the  
redhead seemed to almost teleport into his face and snarl.

"Look, she took it up to a serious level! Of COURSE I hit her!  
She was tryin' to hit me! I figured she'd block it! She SHOULDA  
been ABLE to block it! Geez, ain't you trained her at ALL? SHE'S  
the other heir to the school? What kinda dipstick are you, to have  
her at that level?"

"But... but... but..." Soun was dealing with the somewhat  
bizarre concept of the redhead's apparent opinion being that Akane's  
unconsciousness was HIS fault.

"That punch wasn't even using Amaguriken speeds! Man, you SUCK  
as a sensei!"

"Now see here-"

Cologne intervened. "I suspect, Ranma, that he is probably a  
decent teacher... had he the will to teach. But you don't, do you?"  
Now she glared at Soun.

"But... she's my little girl..."

"Idiot. And the girl has some real potential too. Wasted  
because you think she's as weak as a male."

"We're in Japan, Elder. Ya can't say that after Pops, after  
all."

"Your father is a good teacher, when not a complete fool. And I  
admit he is strong."

Oddly the panda somehow looked smug.

Akane groaned as she came to consciousness. "What... what  
happened?"

"Princess knock you out," supplied Shampoo. "Is great honor."

"She knocks me out all the time, Shampoo! Doesn't that mean I'm  
honored and worthy of-"

"Stupid Mousse. You get knock out because you be stupid. Akane  
spar with Princess."

"Stop callin' me princess," grumbled the apparent royal.

Akane stared at the girl who had- there was no other term for  
it- beaten her. "You... You're a lot better than I expected."

"I'm better than a lot of people expected," Ranma replied with a  
lopsided grin. "Ask the Elder here."

"Well... I'm just glad you're a girl."

"Uh... Why?"

"I'd really hate to be beaten by a BOY."

For some reason, Cologne, Shampoo, Mousse, AND the Panda all  
looked strangely nervous while the girl looked... slightly depressed.

Kasumi returned with the kettle at that moment, and screwed her  
nose up at Ranma. "My. Don't you want a bath, Ranma-chan?"

Ranma shrugged. "Um... I guess that can wait for a bit-"

"Oh, no. You must be sweaty from your workout." As Kasumi put  
the kettle down she shuffled Ranma to the furo.

Cologne gave Shampoo a nod. Shampoo rose up to follow the two  
headed to the bath.

Akane watched them leave, and sighed. "I'm still a bit  
confused... I mean, I lost so fast. I'm supposed to be the best  
martial artist in Nerima."

Mousse shrugged. "We aren't from Nerima."

Cologne mumbled something under her breath that said little good  
for her opinion of Neriman martial artists. Then she paused. The  
girl DID have potential, mostly untapped. She could sense pride that  
wasn't- in her opinion- deserved, and a small undercurrent of  
anger. Wonder what that was directed at?

Akane rose, a bit wobbly, and decided that a nice soak would be a  
good idea. She made her way to the furo door, only to be intercepted  
by Shampoo.

"You no go in bath."

"Why not?"

"Ranma in bath."

Akane sighed. "Look, I don't know how they do it in China, but  
in Japan there's nothing wrong with two girls sharing the furo."

Shampoo nodded. "Is true. Girls share bath, no wrong."

"Good, I'm glad we understand each other. Now, if you'll just-"

"You no go in bath."

Akane began to fume. "Look, you agree that there's nothing wrong  
with girls sharing a bath?"

"Yes. Is no wrong."

"And the only person in there is Ranma, right?"

"Yes. Only Princess in bath."

"Then there's nothing wrong with my going in and sharing-"

"You no go in bath."

"And why is that?" Akane was on the verge of screaming.

"Because Ranma in bath."

Akane snapped. "Look, you... you whatever you are, start making  
sense or I-"

And the door to the furo opened, and instead of a petite but  
buxom redhead emerging, a taller, lean raven-haired boy wearing the  
same clothing stepped into the hallway, nodded at Shampoo, and made  
his way to the common room, sighing deeply.

"You go in now, is OK."

"What- who- where-"

"Hiba-chan explain everything. After you take bath. Smell bad."

Confused beyond any ability to generate anger, Akane wordlessly  
complied...

####

Akane stared at the boy, who was sitting at the table, flanked by  
Shampoo and Mousse. There was also a heavy set man sitting next to  
Cologne, exchanging glares of mixed hostility and respect. Nabiki  
seemed as confused as anyone, Soun seemed to be radiating joy, and  
Kasumi was, well, Kasumi.

"At any rate, I am Genma Saotome, and this is my son, Ranma."

"Huh?" Akane was baffled at that statement. "But Ranma is a  
girl."

"Only half girl," replied Shampoo. "He Ranma."

"Yeah. We're REALLY sorry about this," added Mousse.

"But... how is that possible?"

Genma frowned. "How do I explain-WAHHHHH!" The latter was  
because Cologne had somehow entangled her staff into his ankle and  
tossed him into the Tendo's koi pond.

"It's a transformative magic, you see," the Matriarch said as a  
wet and infuriated panda rose from the waters, waving a sign that  
read "What did you do THAT for?" and making sounds that redefined  
Angry Panda Growfs.

"He... He just turned into a panda!" The normally unflappable  
Nabiki was now truly flapped.

"Hot water will turn him back, you see." The Elder nursed her  
tea. "This is very good, by the way. I know many men who can't make  
tea this good."

"Why, thank you, Cologne-san." Kasumi beamed. And then she  
looked slightly puzzled at the statement.

"But... does that mean..." Akane had a BAD feeling about this.

Ranma sighed. "Mousse, go ahead."

Mousse nodded, produced a flask from apparently nowhere, and  
doused Ranma. Instant girl. Akane, Nabiki, and Kasumi all stared.

"You... you just turned into a-" stammered Nabiki, who was  
having her mindset suddenly wrenched about in unusual fashion.

"Have been for about a year. Ain't so bad, except when SOME  
people get the idea I should be one INSIDE as well."

"Oh, MY." Kasumi was unusually flustered. "Oh, oh... GOODNESS."

Akane was petrified. She HAD been beaten by a boy. More than  
beaten- she had been totally OWNED by a boy. COMPLETELY and TOTALLY  
OUTCLASSED BY A BOY.

This was a VERY BAD THING TO HAPPEN.

"But... but how?" Nabiki was still trying to figure out the  
concept of Instant Girl, just add water.

"A strange and marvelous tale, that, as I shall now relate,"  
noted Cologne.

####

"And as she rose from the pool, tears of joy filled her eyes,  
and she cried to the heavens, 'Thank you, oh Holy Ones, for this  
OUCH! "

"You were doing okay, until that bit," Ranma said after  
withdrawing her fist from the top of Cologne's head. "But you know  
damn well I kinda went nuts and tried to kill Pops instead."

"It was poetic license," grumbled the elder. Although she was  
gratified in the fact that Ranma's training had advanced to the point  
where the teen could take her by surprise.

"Anyhow, the guide says that the Jokusetzoku might know about a  
cure. So we go there, and well, things got kinda strange..."

####

Fifteen year old Ranma Saotome, trained to be the best martial  
artist of his generation was proving that to be very likely as he-  
or rather she- was doing her level best not to be killed.

It seemed a bit over the top, these Amazon chicks reactions. I  
mean, it was just FOOD for crying out loud. And then beating this  
Nair chick for the prize. What was this Kiss of Death crap?

Whatever it was, this Nair wasn't about to let her get a running  
start. (She was supposed to, but Ranma didn't know that, and Nair  
was insanely proud.) So she danced back from a sword thrust...and  
knocked over another Warrior Woman.

Who took offense at this. She threw a punch at the redhead, who  
dodged it, and accidentally stomped the foot of ANOTHER girl.

It escalated from there, to wind up with her now in a leaping  
erratic dodging pattern against at least a dozen of the Amazon  
Fruitcakes, as she thought of them.

If it had been only one or two... but with this many, she'd need  
an edge. A weapon. Ranma disdained relying on weapons, but against  
this many opponents she'd need something to defend herself until she  
could escape.

And lucky her, there was a bo-staff just lying around. Well, not  
exactly lying, but at least accessible, and she leapt for it and  
grasped it- and started to pull with all her might.

Cologne stared in grim interest as the young redheaded outsider's  
hand clasped the Staff of Ages, where it was sealed as it had been  
for the past two thousand years, thrust through an anvil and into  
stone by a foreign wizard. When asked why he'd done that to the  
sacred weapon, his response was, "It worked for the kid."

It would avail her not, of course. The strongest, most worthy of  
Champions had for centuries tried to remove the staff, without  
success. It would, in a way, be sad to see such a fighter die at the  
last moment because she attempted to take a weapon that could not  
be-

The staff moved, slightly. The outsider pulled desperately, and  
the amassed warriors slowed, staring as the relic began to pull free  
of the encasement.

Then with a mighty final heave, she withdrew the sacred weapon.

A ray of golden light sprang from the heavens, to illuminate the  
figure in her tattered gi.

A hundred doves sprang from the bushes to circle over her head.

Wolves howled.

Lions roared.

Elephants trumpeted.

Badgers made whatever noise it is that badgers make. All this,  
by the way, was extremely ominous, since there were no wolves, lions,  
elephants or badgers in that area of China.

The ground trembled slightly. Probably from the impact of all  
the noisy wolves, lions, elephants and badgers that weren't there.

Thunder rolled, from a clear sky. It didn't intend to be shown  
up by a bunch of nonexistent animals.

Finally, as if to make certain everyone understood the importance  
of what had just happened, a passing choir of angels, on their way to  
the four o'clock serenade of the Almighty, decided to do one last  
quick rehearsal of Alleluia number 36.

"Hold!" called Cologne. "I'm not certain, but this may be  
significant."

####

"The prophecies are pretty clear. She who removes the Staff of  
Ages from the stone-"

"And the anvil it was stuck in too."

Cologne glared at Prell, and sighed. "Yes, there is the anvil.  
But that's not important. What is important is that she who removes  
the Staff from the stone is our destined Queen."

"When she turns twenty-one, isn't it? Until then, she's more of  
a princess."

"I didn't say she was a queen YET. She'll have to train, of  
course, in the way of battle."

Lilac smirked. "Not very damn MUCH, I'd say. Never saw ANYONE  
that fast, that young. Or skilled... GOT to be one of the most  
impressive performances I have ever seen. And I've seen some VERY  
impressive per-"

"Is this going to degenerate into one of your memories of an old  
conquest in your youth?"

"Is there something wrong with that?"

The Warmistress and the Healer started to glare daggers- or  
rather, broadswords, considering the intensity, when Prell, the  
Lorekeeper interrupted. "There's some other parts of the Prophecy  
that must be addressed. The Queen comes from the Rising Sun. She  
doesn't look like she could live on the surface of-"

"They call Japan the Land of the Rising Sun, Prell." Prell knew  
everything there was to know about the Amazon people... and damn  
little else. She also had a tendency to being very literal.

"Oh? That works, then. Um, let's see... it also says that she  
shall be a Wild Horse. She looks pretty human-"

"Ranma means Wild Horse in Japanese."

"Really? How odd. It also says that she shall be as woman and  
man. I don't quite get that part..."

Cologne sighed. "Prell, it's obviously a reference to her ruling  
the entire Amazon Nation and reforging our laws and traditions, for  
both sexes. Isn't it clear?"

Lilac poked Cologne in the side, and pointed to the redhead who  
had just finished heating a kettle, while surrounded by uncertain  
guards. "I think it's more literal than that."

"What do you mean- Oh. OH, MY. This complicates things. I  
don't- YOU GIRLS! STOP THAT! NO KISSES OF MARRAIGE OR DEATH OR  
ANYTHING UNTIL WE WORK THIS OUT!"

There were many disappointed sighs.

####

"At any rate, we peered over every stanza of the prophecy. There  
was no possible doubt that Ranma was the promised Future Queen." At  
Ranma's cough, Cologne added, "In our minds, at least. Ranma here  
disagrees."

"Yeah, well, I admit the stuff I learned there was cool. And I  
like learning stuff from you. But I ain't no queen. OR princess. I  
might be half girl, but only on the outside."

"You'll change your tune. It's inevitable."

Soun blinked. All he could really focus on was that there was a  
Ranma. "So... cold water changes you?"

"Yup. THAT'S kinda obvious, ain't it?"

"And hot water changes you back?"

"Yep. And I'd really like some right now. Not too hot,  
o'course..."

"Why, then, your problem isn't so bad after all!" Soun was now  
positively beaming. "These are my daughters. Kasumi, age 19.  
Nabiki, age 17. And Akane, age 16. Pick any one you like as your  
fiancee!"

Before anyone could say anything- and Kasumi and Nabiki were  
about to, they were stopped by Ranma's incredulous roar of, "My  
WHAT?"

A now human Genma nodded. "I was just about to explain that,  
Ranma, before I was interrupted on the way by a certain someone."

"You said old friend- before it started to rain anyhow. You  
NEVER said NOTHIN' about no FIANCEES!"

Soun began to glower. "Are you suggesting that my daughters  
aren't GOOD enough for you, Ranma-kun?"

Before Ranma could retort, Cologne interrupted. "She may not  
hold such an opinion. However, I am not certain that any of them are  
worthy of our Princess' male state."

"Here we go," murmured Genma. "Unless Soun's changed a lot in  
the last twenty years..."

The air about Soun Tendo seemed to waver a bit, and then exploded  
into a grotesque, monstrous, even demoniacal grotesquerie. To which  
Ranma reacted with great nervousness, Mousse gasped in horror and  
leapt into Shampoo's arms- who was petrified for a moment, and then  
dropped Mousse, Genma sighed, and Cologne merely stared with  
facination.

"My. A ki-fueled emotional aura, calculated to inspire terror.  
About a hundred years too late to bother ME, of course. But fairly  
impressive, actually, Explains the youngest's potential... though  
not how it's been wasted."

Soun, in shock, allowed the Demon's Head Aura to drop. It had no  
effect on the old woman? That couldn't be!

Genma nodded. "Used to scare the pants off of me, but after a  
year seeing some of the things in China, I'm not that impressed  
anymore."

"I still want an explanation about this fiancee crap!" The  
redhead was glowering at just about everyone.

"Well, son, years ago Soun and I made a pact, that as a matter of  
honor, our families would be joined in matrimony, to join our houses  
and our schools. Family honor rides upon the fulfillment of this  
pact."

"Oh, for cryin' out loud-"

"You don't want to marry one of my girls?" demanded Soun.

"I don't wanna marry ANYONE," retorted Ranma. "I got enough  
problems without marrying some girl I just MET. I mean, I don't even  
KNOW them!"

"What's your point?" asked the Tendo patriarch.

"Please tell me you ain't for real."

"Ranma," Cologne sighed, "As little as I like to admit it,  
arranged marraiges are not unknown amongst our people as well. And  
when your father calls honor into the pact, I can only follow. At  
the least, an engagement can be held, until such time as we can  
figure out a resolution that will satisfy all parties."

"Excellent," beamed Soun. "All that needs to be done is for the  
boy to choose-"

"I shall choose. If Ranma must have a fiancee, it will be one  
worthy of our future queen," Cologne retorted. "Assuming any of  
these girls ARE worthy, that is."

"I knew she'd start meddlin' again," grumped the unwilling  
princess.

Cologne examined the three. All were stunned at the exchange  
before them, none were willing to speak. The situation was surreal  
beyond a mere omiae.

"Hmm. Too soft, too Japanese in heart, this one. And this one  
is of a Shark's kin," said Cologne, dismissing Kasumi and Nabiki out  
of hand.

"What does that mean, exactly?" complained Nabiki. It certainly  
didn't sound complementary.

"Oh, my," said Kasumi, taken somewhat aback at Cologne's casual  
dismissal.

But Cologne ignored them, staring at Akane. "You. You have  
fire, you have spirit. You have potential to be a warrior of merit  
that has been shamefully wasted, but that can be fixed. You'll do,  
girl, you'll do."

Akane blinked. And then she exploded. "Now JUST A MINUTE-"

Soun had returned to his jovial self again. "Well, then it's  
settled! Akane is Ranma's fiancee!"

"DADDY! I CAN'T MARRY THIS- THIS PERVERT!"

"Hey! What do you mean, pervert!" demanded Ranma.

"You turn into a girl!"

"And this makes me a pervert, how?"

"It... it just DOES!"

"Okay. Cologne, can you think again? I don't need a fiancee  
who's crazy."

"WHAT?"

The elder sighed. "She's a foolish young girl who isn't worthy  
of you yet, Princess, but she has possibilities. We'll see how it  
goes."

Ranma sighed. She turned her head to her father, who was  
nodding. "Joy."

Shampoo was thumbing through a Japanese/Chinese dictionary,  
trying to find the word pervert. When she did, she blinked. "Angry  
girl silly. Ranma no pervert."

"I bet he's not! Look at him! Her! Whatever! It's like it  
doesn't even MATTER to him, turning into a girl!"

"Like I said, a year lets you get used to a lot of things,"  
Ranma said evenly. "And I still don't see what's got you so worked  
up."

"Well, for one thing, you were going to peep on me in the  
bathroom!"

"Hunh? When?"

"When I was going to join you in the bath!"

Ranma blinked, and chewed this for a moment. "Okay, let me get  
this straight. I was taking a bath. You were going to join me in  
the bath. Somehow this was all some nefarious ploy to get you to  
walk in on me naked so I could get an eyeful. Am I the only one that  
sees this as a broken theory?"

Akane spluttered, but found herself unable to refute this.

"Is silly. Angry Girl just jealous, Shampoo think."

"Jealous?" demanded the angry girl in question. "Why would I be  
jealous of that- that creature?" At the moment she was angry at the  
entire world- perhaps not without reason- and her temper was on the  
brink of breaking.

"No is big deal, if Ranma see girl naked. Ranma see self all  
time. Ranma never peek at girl in village, even though many girl  
wish would. Besides, Ranma have too too better body than Angry Girl  
anyway!" Shampoo wasn't at ALL happy about the insults thrown at her  
princess, or she wouldn't have said that.

WHAM!

"See? I knew it! IF this untrained girl can catch the Champion  
off guard like that, her potential is great indeed," chortled  
Cologne.

Mousse peered at the flattened Shampoo, under the table that  
Akane had hit her with, and said, sadly, "I hate to say this, my  
love, but that you had coming."

####

Later, after Kasumi had apologised to Shampoo with the rather  
peculiar description of Akane as a "Very sweet girl, just rather high  
spirited", and Ranma had been returned to a male state, the Amazons  
were discussing things.

"Hey, I'da been pretty hostile myself if I'da been in her shoes.  
And ya probably shouldn't have gone and said that. If there's one  
thing I learned in the village, it's be nice about a girl's looks.  
And she's kinda cute when she ain't yelling."

"Cute? Hah. She too too uncute." Shampoo was aggrieved at the  
realisation that while here in Japan, Cologne had forbidden the Kiss  
of Death OR Marraige. There was one she dearly wished to deliver at  
the moment.

"Definitely has a fighting spirit, though," noted Mousse.

Shampoo nodded. "Is one thing make Shampoo happy, though."

"What's that?"

"Great Grandmother say Shampoo start train Akane. Shampoo get  
even AND do duty!"

Ranma sighed. One thing was for sure... this wasn't going to be  
a boring visit to Japan.

####

End part one.


End file.
